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My Transgender Coming Out By Denise Anne Fell

Subj: My Coming Out

From: DanielleH

To: Melanie

Well, Mel, as I told you last Sunday at the forum, I was going to "do it" this Saturday. Guess what, despite literally sweating bullets at the eleventh hour, I DID IT!!!!

Since the Partytime Cafe, as it was called, was held in Boston, and I live in Maine, I checked into the hotel Friday. I dropped off my wig at a local beauty shop recommended by the local support group (Tiffany Club of New England), dropped my blouse and skirt off at the drycleaner, and made an appointment with the makeup artist at the beauty shop to do my makeup for me.

Normally, I do my own makeup, but this was to be a very special event in my life and I wanted to look perfect (now if that doesn't sound female, I don't know what does).

Saturday afternoon, I dressed in my tightest blue jeans and a peasant style denim top. Then, off to the drycleaner, and then to the beauty parlor. So far, I was not nervous..... until I got to the beauty parlor - then I began to sweat...bullets. I kept thinking to myself, "What if..." Finally, I reminded myself that my time had come and what I had wanted for the past 30+ years.

I walked in, spoke to the owner, and was directed to a private room where I could change clothes and get ready for the makeup and my newly styled wig. The sweat came again, heart quickened, I though, "My gawd, my wish is finally coming true!"

The makeup artist was really nice, asking me what colors I use and how, then instructing me on what I should use in the future and what best fits my features and complexion. It seemed like an eternity, but only 40 minutes later - Danielle was born! The makeup artist said that I looked beautiful and that anyone would certainly think I was female in appearance. When she turned me around to the mirror, tears formed in my eyes - Danielle was quite an attractive lady, if she says so herself. The makeup artist took a few pictures of me, some for me, some for her - she thought the before and after pictures were amazing. She even asked if she could introduce me to some of her TRULY female customers - of course, I said yes - my confidence was holding its own.

I drove back to the hotel to pick up a few things and felt quite confident walking through the lobby to the elevators and back. After all, I was a woman. One woman about 25 years old in the lobby, "checked me out" as I walked by and told her husband that I must "be a call-girl." I smiled to myself and thought, "Alright! That's exactly what I want to feel like - a desirable female!" After all, red pumps, pleated red miniskirt, white hose, red ruffled panties, sheer white blouse and long blonde well-teased hair sure do get attention!

The event was held at a Convention Center/Hotel about 20 minutes away from where I was staying. I drove alittle slower than normal to get there, just to see how many passing cars "checked me out" at the stop lights ----- I loved it!

Once at the Convention Center, I met in-person the Tiffany Club members. I belong to their BBS, but have never met any of them. It was nice to talk all night about ourselves, each other, exchange thoughts/ideas about clothing and makeup...just being female. Of course, when Mother Nature called, I left the table and headed to the rest rooms. As I pushed open the door to the Men's Room, I realized my predicament (????), excused myself, and entered the Ladies Room. My confidence surprised me, no nervousness or sweating as I went about my business there. In fact, while I was touching up my makeup, a girl in her early twenties asked who did my hair because it was so beautiful - I told her the salon's name, and she was grateful. Ah, to be a woman.

When the party ended, I went over to the lounge with some other members. Several times men came up and asked me for a dance, but I declined - not quite ready for that...yet. I think I need alittle more walking before I decide to run! I did however enjoy the attention!

Well, I returned to my hotel. Walked through the lobby, past security and up to my room. I slept like a baby that night - and I know that can be taken literally, after all, Danielle was only born about 8 hours beforehand.

I am so pleased with my first time, that I know it will soon be "every time." I am on the road to becoming the woman that somehow nature forgot. For those of you thinking about Coming Out, I can only say that it was a great moment for me and I intend to make those moments permanent.