Subversive Number 11

Usually, I write the Afterglow column, including some poem or brief article that seems like a closing thought. But this issue, I have received a short essay that is so warm and full of heart, I step aside (just once!) to present it here.

"Happy in a Hug"

by
Karen Patrick

A warm light glows in growing intensity within the core. It is surrounded by darkness stretching into a seamless distance. There is no meaning to the void only the essence of radiant desire. A simple caress could cause it to illuminate the expanse bringing all into focus.

The need for companionship extends beyond mere acceptance. It is the making of a human essence whole. The touch of a friend is prized beyond conventional value. The thought of love and being loved drifts within the twilight of an emotional void.

I can not extinguish the flame. It resists logic and rationale. This yearning for male compassion blossoms within, yet it is incongruous with my physical being. I wish for normalcy...a man and a woman bonded by love. But I am not yet woman, still not man.

A happy night with friends mutates into emptiness. A caring man is nearby but he is unreachable. Too unsure to approach, afraid of being approached...it happens again and again. These feelings torment the innerself and the spirit dwells on ideal fantasy.

It is not for gratification but for emotional assurance. A momentary transference of compassionate energy to strengthen fragility, a dispersal of increasing anxieties, a sharing of human warmth. A longing to simply be held.

It feels beyond the realm of true potential but the emotions glow with growing luminescence.

May you never find occasion to say, "If only....."

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AFTERGLOW

"Happy in a Hug"

by Karen Patrick

May you never find occasion to say, "If only....."

by
Karen Patrick