Presents

A Webzine Created and Edited by

"SWEEPING BACK THE BEACH"

by
Juniko Moody

my body is losing cells at a faster rate
than it replaces them
this is called aging
my 'beauty treatments' are maintenance
it takes more time in the bathroom every year
just to be presentable
presentable means no flakes
i scrub and scrub
use loofas
emollients
astringents
facial soaps with grit
toothpaste with grit
or bleach
or microbeads
i soak
and steam
and mask with clays
then after all the dead cells are hopefully washed away
seal the skin with lotions and oils

would that i could be dipped in glycerin
like the moss used to make tiny trees
on model train sets
at the end of the ritual
then would i be perfectly preserved for all time?

there is perfume
so that when the flakes come back in the middle of the day
i will at least still smell clean

someday i'll stop all this
i'll let the flakes keep coming
and wait to see if there will ever be an end to them
at some point all my tissue should fall off and blow away
like leaves on a tree
and then i will know what is underneath
but i bet the cells will continue to shed
like an everlasting snowfall
and then it will occur to me that i must
be making more cells than i'm losing
because i never run out
this is called living

it makes no difference
try to stop cells from dying
try to rush the process to its inevitable conclusion
like sweeping back the beach
only sometimes sweeping towards the sea
and sometimes sweeping towards the shore
does it really matter to which side one sweeps?

Melanie's Wise Words of the Month

Never Count on Inertia;
Never Depend on Change.
- Wilma Snakestare (alias, M.A.P.)

Back to Table of Contents

The world's very first Transgender Support Web site

The Transgender Support Site has received over three million visits since 1994
and currently receives more than 1,500 unique visitors per day

© Copyright Transgender Support Site