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Responses to the question:

"If you could, would you change
the Body or the Mind?"

Contributed by: Anna A1

(In response to her questionnaire posted
to members of the online gender community,
regarding which would be preferable:
to change the body to match the mind,
or the mind to match the body?)

As to the first question: Well, I am a struggling CD/TV. ( I dress only at home when I am safe, due to my build I only dress as a woman from the waist down) I had stop dressing for years and only recently began again, however due to my build and features I do not look much like a woman. I am heterosexual and enjoy making love to woman so I don't know where I fit in many times.

Altering my body to fit the mind would do nothing to further my situation than altering my mind to fit the body. I am in a 'limbo' situation until I decide whether I should be a full-time TV or not. Also of late I have stopped dressing totally to see what my path is, but one thing I am sure of is that I have no desire to be a TS or see myself as ever becoming one. That is my personal feelings/opinion as I am sure that I am heterosexual meaning I prefer sex with women. To adjust my body would make me a TS who prefers women hence a lesbian. While this would seemingly settle my situation, it doesn't. I do not want to be a woman, but feel a need and comfort when dressed as on, particularly when I'm writing.

Anon

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Oh, this one's easy. By all means, change the mind...CHANGE THE MIND!!!

The pain of our condition is three-fold: First is the pain of unknown origin...the pain we've lived with all our lives. Something is wrong with us, but we don't know what it is. Then comes the second source of pain -- we unearth a name for who or what we are, and realize there must be steps taken to overcome the pain. For some of us, that includes changing our outward appearance to match that of our psyches. Therein lies the third source -- the reactions of others, especially for those of us who have married and begun families. For some of us, we find we must reject that which we have built, those whom we love, in order to achieve happiness. This third source of pain could be avoided entirely if it were possible to alter the mind to fit the body. At least that way, we could continue in our original roles to those who love us.

We define transsexualism as non-congruence between the mind and the body. All we desire is to have the mind and the body of the same sex and gender. To alter the body, we must affect everyone around us. We force them to perceive us in a new way. This is difficult for many to accept, and becomes the reason many of us lose friendships, loved ones, jobs, etc. To change the mind would allow us to view ourselves as mentally and physically congruent without putting all of our outside world relationships at risk.

Our goal is mental and physical congruence. If altering the mind was as easy (yes I know -- a relative term) as altering the body to achieve congruence, wouldn't it be better to choose the path of alteration that affected the fewest number of people?

Elaine P1

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If there was a choice of adjusting the mind to fit the body or adjusting the body to fit the mind, would you choose one or the other and why?

I would choose to adjust the body to fit the mind. I would much rather be female than male. I am TV. If life circumstances were different I would most definitely venture toward the TS end of the gender spectrum. But as things are today, I am and have the responsibilities of a husband and father which I take very seriously.

I would rather be female but I don't have to be. And at this time being female runs contrary to my responsibilities of a husband and father. So settling to be TV rather than TS. No one is forcing me to choose this path, In following it of my free will. There are too many people whom I love dearly will be burden if I choose otherwise.

I don't feel that I was born in the wrong body. I just would rather be female. (no therapist would give me letters of recommendations for surgery with that answer.) I'm sure that I would have been a great wife and mother.

I hope my answer makes sense.

Leslie10

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I believe adjusting the body to fit the mind is the most appropriate since the mind is who and what we are. The physical attributes should match how we view ourselves.

Ellisa

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I would rather adjust the body to the mind. The mind is far more powerful then the mind and therefore cannot be adjusted. One cant deny there true feelings for long

Julie85042

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I am a pre-op-TS (MtF). I've been on Premarin since last Christmas along with electrolysis, etc. I go full time next New Years day. In response to your GenderNews question, I would never want to change my mind to fit a male body. I wouldn't be me anymore. I thought about this before I went on my TS path. I was to see a therapist to "cure" my transgender feelings. As my appointment got closer, I began to think of what I would be loosing if indeed I could develop a male mind somehow (It wouldn't have worked anyway!). I love my femininity, my soft, emotional nature. My love of pastels, flowers, and pretty things. I love my women friends, AS FRIENDS. I'm glad I made the right decision.

Love, KristineTS

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Hmmm, adjusting the mind to fit the body or adjusting the body to fit the mind... I think that adjusting the mind to fit the body is much easier. In my case accepting is the key. I have spent 27 years trying to convince myself that I was not a Cross dresser. Then I discovered the book written by Virginia Prince and found out that I was not alone nor was I much different than many other males. Adjusting the mind to accept what I am as much as Who I am. Knowing that I will never have the body of a female and I must accept this also is part of the acceptance.

HUGS, Sarah 3182]

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For me, I would prefer that my body be adjusted to fit my mind. I prefer the female way of thinking and doing things. Since I don't like male ways now, why would I want to force them on myself. All this macho stuff men have to put out is stupid and certainly not to my liking.

Any ways. I know this has been a short response, but that's all I really have to say on the matter.

Love,

Wendy TG

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I'd rather change the body to match the mind. That way you stay the same person and the body would match the person. Changing the mind to fit the body, you would no longer be the same person.

Melanie337

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Speaking as a 12+ year post-op transsexual -- if I could have changed my mind or my body (and I stress "could have") -- I would have changed my "mind." The pain, the anxiety -- all of the turmoil to family and friends would have been avoided -- and I would be at peace with myself.

However, one can't change one's mind. It's impossible, medically or psychologically. The body is a different matter.

I did change my body -- and from a 12-year perspective: YES! I WOULD DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. No if's, no doubts, no but's! I am at peace with myself.

Jeanne

(Note: Jeanne responded to a posting on CompuServe's Genderline)

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That's an easy question. Adjust the body. I don't want anyone messing with my mind, I do enough of that myself. I know it's hard to be a woman, hell, it's hard to be a human being, but unequivocally, without a doubt, yes. I never wanted to be a man, rarely thought of myself as one, and have gone through the craziness we all have, long dark nights of the soul wanting to give this up but unable to. I am Cheryl (or Joyce or Karen or Jackie or Joanne or Susan), for good or ill, I can't conceive of being someone else. I am a girl, dammit (banging head against the wall) and will consider no other possibility. I refuse to recognize that I might have a penis, uggh! the thought turns my stomach. I've gone this far as Cheryl, I'm not going to deny it now.

I'm going to paint my toenails and not even think of the question.

Hugs,
Cheryl

(Note: Cheryl responded to a posting on CompuServe's Genderline and has mentioned that she will be joining in on AOL soon)

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I would prefer to have the body match the mind. My mind has the desire to dress and act feminine but my body does not look the part. I wish that I could get my body to more resemble the female body for a better fit of clothes and for looks.

As I said before. Thanks for taking the time to do this Anna. It is OK to use my name in the gender news if you would like.

LeAnne CD

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Adjust the body to suit the mind. It just makes more sense since we know more about the body.

Susan TS.

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I would adjust the body to fit the mind....I'm not sure why I feel the way that I do , but I know that I have felt the need to crossdress sense I was about five...These urges have presented a constant challenge to me , and often I've prayed to have them go away...I do believe there is a reason why we have these urges and I know in my heart of hearts that they are both a blessing and a possible curse...I cursed and did not except these desires for a long time...now, finally I am beginning to give in to my desires and that is a blessing...I say bring on the magic pill that will help me be all that I can be.

Gemini8606

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I would choose neither choice. As a Het TV I don't feel there is a problem with my body or my mind.(Well the body could use some work physically!!) If I could change someone else's mind about TVism I think that might help.

Leesha

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I would choose adjusting the body to the mind. Although I believe I am not a transsexual, I would find it would be much easier to be a female than a male because of the strict rules that the dominating male society puts upon people.

I am a TG, primarily Androgynous, but I do crossdress with some women's clothes. As a woman, I would be more free to express my individuality. A born female who is androgynous, is more likely to be accepted than a born male would be.

I was born a man with a female personality, which makes it difficult to live in a masculine dominated society. If I could change to be a woman, then I would. I would feel more comfortable around people and myself. I could look into the mirror and feel serenity.

Love,

Storm Face

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It depends

Mind to body...my fem mind to a fem body yes..but there is not all that much fem (that I know of) in me. When I'm dressed it comes out and especially when I'm with my wife I feel "soft" but I don't know how far it goes

In the other direction Body to mind since it is a male body I've never completely experienced the 100% male thing (due to the TV inclination). Perhaps I'd like too...but then since I have this cross thing (I'm defiantly hetero) I treasure those soft moments

A hard question to answer

JoNelle

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