"Genesys"

Author Unknown,
Contributed by: paul@qsc.com

• In the beginning there was the computer. And God said %Let there be light!

  Enter user id. %God

  Enter password. %Omniscient

  Password incorrect. Try again. %Omnipotent

  Password incorrect. Try again. %Sufi

  And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. %Let there be light!

  Unrecognizable command. Try again. %Create light

  Done %Run heaven and earth

  And God created Day and Night. And God saw there were 0 errors. And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Sunday, March 1. Approx. funds remaining: $92.50.

  And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Monday, March 2. %Let there be firmament in the midst of water and light

  Unrecognizable command. Try again. %Create firmament

  Done. %Run firmament

  And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors. And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Monday, March 2. Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.

  And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3. %Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and...

  Too many characters in specification string. Try again. %Create dry_land

  Done. %Run firmament

  And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors. And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Tuesday, March 3. Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.

  And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4. %Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night

  Unspecified type. Try again. %Create sun_moon_stars

  Done %Run sun_moon_stars

  And God created the heavens. And God saw there were 0 errors. And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Wednesday, March 4. Approx. funds remaining: $54.00.

  And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Thursday, March 5. %Create fish

  Done %Create fowl

  Done %Run fish, fowl

  And God created the great sea monsters and every living creature that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every winged fowl after its kind. And God saw there were 0 errors.

  And God logged off at 12:02:00 AM, Thursday, March 5. Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.

  And God logged on at 12:01:00 AM, Friday, March 6. %Create cattle

  Done %Create creepy_things

  Done %Now let us make man in our image

  Unspecified type. Try again. %Create man

  Done %Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth...

  Too many command operands. Try again. %Run multiplication

  Execution terminated. 6 errors. %Insert breath

  Done %Run multiplication

  Execution terminated. 5 errors. %Move man to Garden of Eden

  File Garden of Eden does not exist. %Create Garden.edn

  Done %Move man to Garden.edn

  Done %Run multiplication

  Execution terminated. 4 errors. %Copy woman from man

  Done %Run multiplication

  Execution terminated. 3 errors. %Insert woman into man

  Illegal parameters. Try again. %Insert man into woman

  Done %Run multiplication

  Execution terminated. 2 errors. %Create desire

  Done %Run multiplication

  And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn.

  Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors. %Create freewill

  Done %Run freewill

  And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn.

  Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors. %Undo desire

  Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. %Destroy freewill

  Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help. %Help

  Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created. Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help. %Create tree_of_knowledge

  And God saw man and woman being fruitful and multiplying in Garden.edn.

  Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors. %Create good, evil

  Done %Activate evil

  And God saw he had created shame. Warning system error in sector E95. Man and woman not in Garden.edn.

  1 errors. %Scan Garden.edn for man, woman

  Search failed. %Delete shame

  Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated. %Destroy freewill

  Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed. Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help. %Stop

  Unrecognizable command. Try again %Break %Break %Break

  ATTENTION ALL USERS *** ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE LOGOFF! %Create new world

  You have exceeded your allocated file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created. %Destroy earth

  Destroy earth: Please confirm. %Destroy earth confirmed

  COMPUTER DOWN *** COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME SUNDAY, MARCH 8 AT 6:00 AM. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW.

  And God logged off at 11:59:59 PM, Friday, March 6. Approx. funds remaining: $0.00.