Quayle Eggs

The following are real quotes from former Vice President Dan Quayle:

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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the

impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

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"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I

have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could

converse with those people."

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"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

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"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother

and child."

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"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."

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"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same

distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures

where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water,

that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."

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"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is

being very wasteful. How true that is."

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"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I

mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I

didn't live in this century."

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"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and

democracy - but that could change."

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"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president,

and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

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"May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world."

-- The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card.

[Not a beacon of literacy, though.]

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"We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward."

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"I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good

judgements in the Future."

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"The future will be better tomorrow."

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"We're going to have the best-educated American people

in the world."

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"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions

and have a tremendous impact on history."

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"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

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"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We

have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe."

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"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."

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"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."

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"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people
going to the polls."

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"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the

riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple:

Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to

blame for the killings? The killers are to blame."

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"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not

having it."

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"Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she

still has a job next year."

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"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

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"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

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"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession

that teach our children."

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"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that

Dan Quayle may or may not make."

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"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you

on the mistakes we may or may not have made."

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"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

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"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

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"Public speaking is very easy."