(In response to her questionnaire posted to members of the online
gender community,
regarding which would be preferable: to change the body to match the
mind,
or the mind to match the body?)
As to the first question: Well, I am a struggling CD/TV. ( I dress
only at home when I am safe, due to my build I only dress as a woman
from the waist down) I had stop dressing for years and only recently
began again, however due to my build and features I do not look much
like a woman. I am heterosexual and enjoy making love to woman so I
don't know where I fit in many times.
Altering my body to fit the mind would do nothing to further my
situation than altering my mind to fit the body. I am in a 'limbo'
situation until I decide whether I should be a fulltime TV or not.
Also of late I have stopped dressing totally to see what my path is,
but one thing I am sure of is that I have no desire to be a TS or see
myself as ever becoming one. That is my personal feelings/opinion as I
am sure that I am heterosexual meaning I prefer sex with women. To
adjust my body would make me a TS who prefers women hence a lesbian.
While this would seemingly settle my situation, it doesn't. I do not
want to be a woman, but feel a need and comfort when dressed as on,
particularly when I'm writing.
Anon
*************************
Oh, this one's easy. By all means, change the mind...CHANGE THE
MIND!!!
The pain of our condition is three-fold: First is the pain of
unknown origin...the pain we've lived with all our lives. Something is
wrong with us, but we don't know what it is. Then comes the second
source of pain-we unearth a name for who or what we are, and realize
there must be steps taken to overcome the pain. For some of us, that
includes changing our outward appearance to match that of our psyches.
Therein lies the third source-the reactions of others, especially for
those of us who have married and begun families. For some of us, we
find we must reject that which we have built, those whom we love, in
order to achieve happiness. This third source of pain could be avoided
entirely if it were possible to alter the mind to fit the body. At
least that way, we could continue in our original roles to those who
love us.
We define transsexualism as non-congruence between the mind and the
body. All we desire is to have the mind and the body of the same sex
and gender. To alter the body, we must affect everyone around us. We
force them to perceive us in a new way. This is difficult for many to
accept, and becomes the reason many of us lose friendships, loved
ones, jobs, etc. To change the mind would allow us to view ourselves
as mentally and physically congruent without putting all of our
outside world relationships at risk.
Our goal is mental and physical congruence. If altering the mind
was as easy (yes I know-a relative term) as altering the body to
achieve congruence, wouldn't it be better to choose the path of
alteration that affected the fewest number of people?
Elaine P1
*************************
If there was a choice of adjusting the mind to fit the body or
adjusting the body to fit the mind, would you choose one or the other
and why?
I would choose to adjust the body to fit the mind. I would much
rather be female than male. I am TV. If life circumstances were
different I would most definitely venture toward the TS end of the
gender spectrum. But as things are today, I am and have the
responsibilities of a husband and father which I take very seriously.
I would rather be female but I don't have to be. And at this time
being female runs contrary to my responsibilities of a husband and
father. So settling to be TV rather than TS. No one is forcing me to
choose this path, In following it of my free will. There are too many
people whom I love dearly will be burden if I choose otherwise.
I don't feel that I was born in the wrong body. I just would rather
be female. (no therapist would give me letters of recommendations for
surgery with that answer.) I'm sure that I would have been a great
wife and mother.
I hope my answer makes sense.
Leslie10
*************************
I believe adjusting the body to fit the mind is the most
appropriate since the mind is who and what we are. The physical
attributes should match how we view ourselves.
Ellisa
*************************
I would rather adjust the body to the mind. The mind is far more
powerful then the mind and therefore cannot be adjusted. One cant deny
there true feelings for long
Julie85042
*************************
I am a pre-op-TS (MtF). I've been on Premarin since last Christmas
along with electrolysis, etc. I go full time next New Years day. In
response to your GenderNews question, I would never want to change my
mind to fit a male body. I wouldn't be me anymore. I thought about
this before I went on my TS path. I was to see a therapist to
"cure" my transgender feelings. As my appointment got
closer, I began to think of what I would be loosing if indeed I could
develop a male mind somehow (It wouldn't have worked anyway!). I love
my femininity, my soft, emotional nature. My love of pastels, flowers,
and pretty things. I love my women friends, AS FRIENDS. I'm glad I
made the right decision.
Love, KristineTS
*************************
Hmmm, adjusting the mind to fit the body or adjusting the body to
fit the mind... I think that adjusting the mind to fit the body is
much easier. In my case accepting is the key. I have spent 27 years
trying to convince myself that I was not a Cross dresser. Then I
discovered the book written by Virginia Prince and found out that I
was not alone nor was I much different than many other males.
Adjusting the mind to accept what I am as much as Who I am. Knowing
that I will never have the body of a female and I must accept this
also is part of the acceptance.
HUGS, Sarah 3182]
*************************
For me, I would prefer that my body be adjusted to fit my mind. I
prefer the female way of thinking and doing things. Since I don't like
male ways now, why would I want to force them on myself. All this
macho stuff men have to put out is stupid and certainly not to my
liking.
Any ways. I know this has been a short response, but that's all I
really have to say on the matter.
Love,
Wendy TG
*************************
I'd rather change the body to match the mind. That way you stay the
same person and the body would match the person. Changing the mind to
fit the body, you would no longer be the same person.
Melanie337
*************************
Speaking as a 12+ year post-op transsexual-if I could have changed
my mind or my body (and I stress "could have") -- I would
have changed my "mind." The pain, the anxiety-all of the
turmoil to family and friends would have been avoided-and I would be
at peace with myself.
However, one can't change one's mind. It's impossible, medically or
psychologically. The body is a different matter.
I did change my body-and from a 12-year perspective: YES! I WOULD
DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. No if's, no doubts, no but's! I am at peace with
myself.
Jeanne
(Note: Jeanne responded to a posting on compuserves Genderline)
*************************
That's an easy question. Adjust the body. I don't want anyone
messing with my mind, I do enough of that myself. I know it's hard to
be a woman, hell, it's hard to be a human being, but unequivocally,
without a doubt, yes. I never wanted to be a man, rarely thought of
myself as one, and have gone through the craziness we all have, long
dark nights of the soul wanting to give this up but unable to. I am
Cheryl (or Joyce or Karen or Jackie or Joanne or Susan), for good or
ill, I can't conceive of being someone else. I am a girl, dammit
(banging head against the wall) and will consider no other
possibility. I refuse to recognize that I might have a penis, uggh!
the thought turns my stomach. I've gone this far as Cheryl, I'm not
going to deny it now.
I'm going to paint my toenails and not even think of the question.
Hugs,
Cheryl
(Note: Cheryl responded to a posting on compuserves Genderline and
has mentioned that she will be joining in on AOL soon)
*************************
I would prefer to have the body match the mind. My mind has the
desire to dress and act feminine but my body does not look the part. I
wish that I could get my body to more resemble the female body for a
better fit of clothes and for looks.
As I said before. Thanks for taking the time to do this Anna. It is
OK to use my name in the gender news if you would like.
LeAnne CD
*************************
Adjust the body to suit the mind. It just makes more sense since we
know more about the body.
Susan TS.
*************************
I would adjust the body to fit the mind....I'm not sure why I feel
the way that I do , but I know that I have felt the need to crossdress
sense I was about five...These urges have presented a constant
challenge to me , and often I've prayed to have them go away...I do
believe there is a reason why we have these urges and I know in my
heart of hearts that they are both a blessing and a possible curse...I
cursed and did not except these desires for a long time...now, finally
I am beginning to give in to my desires and that is a blessing...I say
bring on the magic pill that will help me be all that I can be.
Gemini8606
*************************
I would choose neither choice. As a Het TV I don't feel there is a
problem with my body or my mind.(Well the body could use some work
physically!!) If I could change someone else's mind about TVism I
think that might help.
Leesha
*************************
I would choose adjusting the body to the mind. Although I believe I
am not a transsexual, I would find it would be much easier to be a
female than a male because of the strict rules that the dominating
male society puts upon people.
I am a TG, primarily Androgynous, but I do crossdress with some
women's clothes. As a woman, I would be more free to express my
individuality. A born female who is androgynous, is more likely to be
accepted than a born male would be.
I was born a man with a female personality, which makes it
difficult to live in a masculine dominated society. If I could change
to be a woman, then I would. I would feel more comfortable around
people and myself. I could look into the mirror and feel serenity.
Love,
Storm Face
*************************
It depends
Mind to body...my fem mind to a fem body yes..but there is not all
that much fem (that I know of) in me. When I'm dressed it comes out
and especially when I'm with my wife I feel "soft" but I
don't know how far it goes
In the other direction Body to mind since it is a male body I've
never completely experienced the 100% male thing (due to the TV
inclination). Perhaps I'd like too...but then since I have this cross
thing (I'm defiantly hetero) I treasure those soft moments
Here are the results of the alt.transgendered survey.
The results are expressed as percentages with actual numbers shown
in square brackets [#] when I thought the numbers may be interesting.
The numbers in parenthesis () reflect the inclussion of a total of
results of the survey circulated to the American On Line system
(thanks to Crystal for the input).
I'm having to send this through the penet server so it may take a
bit longer than using the laUNCpad. There is no way to upload a file
on that system and the results were compiled on my PC. '-)
So with our further adeiu, here are the results:
***************************************
RESULTS OF THE alt.transgendered SURVEY
***************************************
1) Average age: 32.2 years (32.7 years)
2) Birth sex: Female 0% Male 100%
3) Location:
country:
USA 76.1% [51] (78.9% [60])
Canada 11.9% [8] (10.5% [8])
Europe 9.0% [6] ( 7.9% [6])
Pacific 3.0% [2] ( 2.6% [2])
Urban environment 82% (80.3%) or Rural environment 18% (19.7%)
4) Sexual partner preference:
Female 68.6% (65.8%)
Male 4.5% (7.9%)
Both 23.9% (22.4%)
Neither/No response 3% (3.9%)
5) Time aware of gender ambiguity: 16.9 years (14.8 years)
6) Current personal status: Acceptance 83.6% (85.5%) Denial 16.4%
(14.5%)
7) Are you a:
Transsexual 37.3% [25] (42.1% [32])
Transvestite 50.7% [34] (47.3% [36])
Interested third party 6% [4] (5.3% [4])
8) If transsexual, are you:
Preoperative 60% [15] (59.4% [19])
Post-operative 8% [2] (12.5% [4])
Neither 32% [8] (28.1% [9])
9) Do you participate in professional therapy:
Yes 28.4% (31.6%)
No 71.6% (68.4%)
10) Are you a member of a support group (other than alt.tg):
Yes 38.8% (40.8%)
No 61.2% (59.2%)
11) Marital status:
Single 40.3% [27] (39.5% [30])
Married 43.3% [29] (42.1% [32])
Divorced 7.5% [5] ( 9.2% [7])
Lasting relationship 8.9% [6] (9.2% [7])
12) If married or involved:
A) Does you S.O. know of your gender ambiguity:
Yes 86.1% (87.5%)
No 11.1% (10.0%)
Maybe 2.8% (2.5%)
B) If yes, is your S.O. accepting and/or supportive:
Yes 83.3% (82.4%)
No 16.7% (17.6%)
13) Do you cross dress:
Yes 77.6% (75%)
No 22.4% (25%)
If so, how many years have you been consistently crossdressing:
11.3 years (11.9 years)
14) Do you subscribe to any transgendered publications:
90% of female-to-male transsexuals and 61% of male-to-female
transsexuals are sexually satisfied.
70% of female-to-male transsexuals and 43% of
male-to-female transsexuals retain close contact with their
families.
57% of female-to-male transsexuals and 27% of
male-to-female transsexuals form lasting romantic
partnerships.
100% of female-to-male transsexuals and 60% of
male-to-female transsexuals inform their partners about their
transsexualism.
5% of female-to-male transsexuals and 21% of male to female
transsexuals have made a suicide attempt.
100% of sexual partners of female-to-male transsexuals are female.
60% of sexual partners of male-to-female transsexuals are male.
-- Source: The Great Divide (How Females & Males Really Differ)
by Daniel Evan Weiss, drawn from data originally appearing in Archives
of Sexual Behavior, December 1988 issue.
You can purchase the complete 194 page book for only
$19.95!
