To the Young TS...
(from Teresa)
Hi (Young person with no name...) I think you might be able to
relate to my own history. Why? Because I found out what I was at age
13 and decided to do something about it then, not wait to have kids or
whatever. I was looking through my mothers magazines one day while she
was gone and found an article on transsexualism. Suddenly I wasn’t
alone in how I felt ! There were others like me! And, it gave me a
title to look up in the public and university library’s (it was in
1970 and they didn’t have computers and stuff like now).
I knew that if I waited I would grow facial hair, body hair and
muscle mass. I knew also that I would get taller than most women, my
feet would get big as well as my hands. I knew my shoulders would get
bigger and my general bone structure would masculinize. In short,
everything I didn’t want to happen to me would happen if I didn’t
do something quick! Soooo I started to steal my mothers menopause
hormones at age 15. ( and this I DO NOT ADVISE YOU TO DO!!! )
I saw and received permission from a psychiatrist (took me 6 months
to save every dime from my part time job to see him) to take my own
hormones when I was 18 years old and still in high school (though it
was 3 months prior to graduation). I started to live full time as a
girl at age 19. I am now 40 years old, I’ve had the surgery for
nearly a decade and I’ve lived over half of my life as a female. I
can tell you from very personal experience that it was wonderful to be
a girl at a young age, even if it was my last year as a teenager.
My father was a very abusive man when I was young - quite a
masculine type of guy and I knew that if I told him about myself I
would get the backhand of his fist and yelled at. My mother knew I
cross dressed since I was about 15 or 16 and tried to embarrass me
about it in front of others whenever she felt in the mood to do so, so
I knew I had absolutely no support from either of them and would have
to do this on my own (and after my sex change surgery I was TOLD that
they never wanted to talk to me again).
Here’s the advice, see a psychiatrist or psychologist. Today,
many schools have psychiatric professionals as part of their regular
staff so you may have to go no further than your school to seek help
and understanding. I started to do this in seventh grade and you will
be very surprised how wonderful it is to finally talk about this with
a living person who cares. If this is not the case then try looking in
you local phone book (or nearest big city book) for a mental health
clinic. Many times they will not even charge you for their services if
you are unemployed. If they diagnose you as a transsexual then you
have something more than before, something more to prove to your
parents that you are not going through a “Phase” but have a real
problem that really has to be addressed.
Hang in there kid, it’s a rough road full of superstitious and
prejudiced people, Lots of various doctors and a requirement of a good
chunk of money. But If you’re true to yourself and persevere towards
your goal, you too can live the life you’ve always dreamed of.
Carpe Diem!
