To the Young TS...
(from Teresa)
Hi (Young person with no name...) I think you might be
able to relate to my own history. Why? Because I found out what I was at
age 13 and decided to do something about it then, not wait to have kids
or whatever. I was looking through my mothers magazines one day while
she was gone and found an article on transsexualism. Suddenly I wasn’t
alone in how I felt ! There were others like me! And, it gave me a title
to look up in the public and university library’s (it was in 1970 and
they didn’t have computers and stuff like now).
I knew that if I waited I would grow facial hair, body
hair and muscle mass. I knew also that I would get taller than most
women, my feet would get big as well as my hands. I knew my shoulders
would get bigger and my general bone structure would masculinize. In
short, everything I didn’t want to happen to me would happen if I
didn’t do something quick! Soooo I started to steal my mothers
menopause hormones at age 15. ( and this I DO NOT ADVISE YOU TO DO!!! )
I saw and received permission from a psychiatrist (took
me 6 months to save every dime from my part time job to see him) to take
my own hormones when I was 18 years old and still in high school (though
it was 3 months prior to graduation). I started to live full time as a
girl at age 19. I am now 40 years old, I’ve had the surgery for nearly
a decade and I’ve lived over half of my life as a female. I can tell
you from very personal experience that it was wonderful to be a girl at
a young age, even if it was my last year as a teenager.
My father was a very abusive man when I was young -
quite a masculine type of guy and I knew that if I told him about myself
I would get the backhand of his fist and yelled at. My mother knew I
cross dressed since I was about 15 or 16 and tried to embarrass me about
it in front of others whenever she felt in the mood to do so, so I knew
I had absolutely no support from either of them and would have to do
this on my own (and after my sex change surgery I was TOLD that they
never wanted to talk to me again).
Here’s the advice, see a psychiatrist or psychologist.
Today, many schools have psychiatric professionals as part of their
regular staff so you may have to go no further than your school to seek
help and understanding. I started to do this in seventh grade and you
will be very surprised how wonderful it is to finally talk about this
with a living person who cares. If this is not the case then try looking
in you local phone book (or nearest big city book) for a mental health
clinic. Many times they will not even charge you for their services if
you are unemployed. If they diagnose you as a transsexual then you have
something more than before, something more to prove to your parents that
you are not going through a “Phase” but have a real problem that
really has to be addressed.
Hang in there kid, it’s a rough road full of
superstitious and prejudiced people, Lots of various doctors and a
requirement of a good chunk of money. But If you’re true to yourself
and persevere towards your goal, you too can live the life you’ve
always dreamed of.
Carpe Diem!
